all right..not the best

"how are you"?

normal answer will be "fine. good. thank you"

at the moment, I would be in the "all right.. not the best" mood..

I laze in bed every weekday morning, trying to find every reason not to go to work.

I wake up feeling "heavy in the heart" don't know what to expect for the day.

I think I had lost a bit of that motivation that drove me to complete the numerous projects I have in hand.

With this economy heartless situation, questions are not answered. more questions are asked

resolutions, ambitions.

what does it take to fulfil them? I just failed one simple resolution i had yesterday, all because of time management. Still, every small little thing needs a plan.

I've been searching online for my "dream". searching online to find ways to fulfil my next step . searching online for the effects of my next step.

How I actually want to do it, to take out a sum of money for to risk remains a mystery.

Everything is risky, do I have what it takes to conquer the risk?

I realise I'm still lazy.. not in the sense of slouching on the crouch but lazy as in trying to let everying solve on its own.. words like "see how it goes", "let's wait" and "maybe"

I NEED TO JUST DO IT! and DO IT RIGHT! in EVERYTHING.

Blue Mountains

drove up to Blue Mountains to celebrate Denise's 25th Birthday. apart from the weather: rainy, foggy and cold.. everything's relaxing. Actually, it was quite good - minus the extra concentration required to drive safely on the roads with limited visibility.

went for the couple spa retreat - 4 hrs which included a hot stone therapy, facial, hydrotherapy, hand and feet treatment for me, and deluxed pedicure for the birthday girl.

hot stone therapy was relaxing, soothing and we got a good massuer, which makes the experience even better.

hydrotherapy was Ok. almost out of breath with the small space and the steam going off.

facial was refreshing - hand and feet treatment is a treatment I won't do it again. Pain when they scrape the nails. you may be wondering - why did I do it? haha, because is all in a package. a couples package. I never know you could put mask on ur feet and hands..

stayed overnight and drove around the next day.. weather was still horrid.. on the way back, we saw 2 cars skidded off into the median vegetation. looks bad.
we got home safe and sound..

what?

satisfying others?

being fair to others?

what about yourself? What about me?

being fair to others = not being fair to myself

satisfying others means losing out on myself

why? why do I always need to think about you..... you .....and you..

couldn't really care less now..

weekend started shit.. woke up. feeling the same as Monday..

guess it will end shit as well.....

negativity for this week.. hope this doesn't continues...

sick..

sick of running other people's show
sick of being satisfying others
sick of pleasing others
sick of getting things right for somthing that doesn't belong to myself
sick of working
sick of waking up early in the morning
sick of getting the stick
sick of other's people attitude

I'm just gonna be transparent right now, to ppl that don't deserve or worth it.

given the economy crisis now...
I love my job
I love my job
I love my job... RIGHT!

Flat, Punctured

It was 6pm.. time to head for the gym...

went down to the car park, only to find my tyre flattened, with a hissing sound when I put my head just beside the tyre.

What to do?

C: Hello D, tell you sth.. my tyre punctured

D: ahz? what you going to do? make a call? NRMA? Honda?

C: I think I will fixed it up myself.. (proceeds to open the boot and brings the spare tyre and the tools out)

C: how come will burst?

D: stop thinking of why? think of what to do..

C: (getting agitated).. I'll call you back

ring ring

D: why dont you call Honda and ask them about it.

C: ok.. what's the number

D: 1800....... is toll-free

C: all rightz.. call you back later..

rang up Honda, and they send NRMA down to fix up my tyre..5 minutes job.

jack up, screw out, tyre down.

install spare tyre, screw in, jack down. "there you go"...

in the end, din have to pay a cent, just 40 mins of my time. and I miss gym..

went to Star City and got ang pow from God of Fortune..

believe it or not, i had a dream last night. In it, my car crash quite badly...maybe what happened was a blessing in disguise

thanks D for being with me and travelling up North to meet me. What a experience. Still have to send my Hondaz to get a new tyre.